Personalities

I was talking to a friend, and I was thinking some things. I (as stupid as this sounds) often forget that not everybody is like me. I noticed this when we were talking about goals, and his goal was to ‘meet the one’ and ‘find love’, whilst mine was to have my hard work pay off and end up in a job I enjoy, taking my role in the world. Love is something I dismiss as a bit of enjoyment along the way. And realising that that truly was his goal, I noted on how different we were. I was also amazed that that was anyone’s goal; or that anyone had a goal different to mine. I know it sounds shallow, but I just forget sometimes.

Not just that, but I recently did a 16 personality test (and I highly suggest you do it too, just look it up!) and I also realised there were other people exactly like me. It’s odd; I can think I’m unique and different, as well as thinking everybody else is like me at the same time. So I did the test (if you’ve done it, you’ll understand what I mean when I say I got the ENTJ-A personality. Aka. the commander) and it was crazy how relatable it was! It made me think about how most of my personality I hid (so I can be more likeable) and that I really just want to be my bossy, ruthless self. So I’m working on that right now. I also looked at the other personality types, and it was interesting to see the other types of people. Some of them, I seriously couldn’t understand, and others I could partially relate too.

I just think it’s crazy how all of us think different things, and learn different things from similar experiences. How we can actually be friends who believe things completely opposite to us. But that keeps things interesting! It makes me wonder about all the types of people I’ve met in my life, how they’ve evolved, as well as me thinking about the types of people I’ll get the pleasure to meet someday. All I’m truly certain is; I will continue to do as I am, do summer schools (I’m actually doing Bristol, Bath and Imperial College this year) and things like NCS so I can meet more of these people, and have fun on my way to finding my role in life.

Fans of the impossible life

So every now and then, when I actually have money (or my school has given me a voucher for hardwork/ house points etc.) I go into WHSmith and buy a book which I haven’t of before. Normally (eg. The Raven Boys) I’ll have seen it on tumblr or a friend would’ve suggested it. But sometimes I’ll try something new.

I saw this book, and with the name, it intrigued me. I am a fan of the impossible life myself, so I figured I could perhaps to relate to it.

Pros

  1. Same sex couples. It’s odd, but it’s always enjoyable to read about them (as a bisexual myself). It’s different. It shows how society is evolving. Of course, I’d like to read one where they’re not oppressed or bullied and just have a normal, cute relationship, but that’s okay.
  2. There’s stuff about bullying, depression and drugs. It doesn’t romanticize depression, and it doesn’t make drugs look appealing either. And with bullying, it is shown in a slightly childish sense, but it does happen. And the characters aren’t strong, either. They’re regular people, who get hurt and take a while to get back up. It also mentions not feeling comfortable with your own skin. But she gets over it and embraces herself (she doesn’t lose weight, that I recall).
  3. There are some pretty cool quotes. Always gotta love that.
  4. There’s first, second and third person. I quite like that.

Cons

  1. Nothing is solved. I know I sometimes complain about everything having a happy ending, but it was weird. A kid ended up getting sent away from his foster home, is taking drugs, hates life, abandons his friends and just runs away. At that’s how it ends. Not to mention, a kind teacher ends up being fired for inappropriate behavior with students (a wrong assumption here).¬† It’s just a sad ending. Not to mention the person who grassed him up never got to make up for their action.
  2. It got a bit boring. The conversations dragged out with nothing else really happening. And the description can be quite unimaginative at times, as well as bland.
  3. Weird stuff happens and I have no fucking idea. The two gays end up making out with their girl best friend for fun. And that it seriously not in one of their characters traits. And there’s no purpose behind it.
  4. If you write a book with drugs and stuff, it has to have meaning. This didn’t. He took it to escape; great. But he didn’t overcome it. It made drugs sound like it truly can help you, without showing the repercussions of it (really).

Overall? I’ve give it a 5/10. Too many loose ends and pointless things. It didn’t flow, and at the end I wondered why I had even read it. What I had even learned. Books teach you things you can’t in school; but with this one, I don’t know.

 

Avatar

(Picture involves Korra on the left, Aang on the right. Both sets of seasons, LOK left, TLA right)

Okay, so I started the sequel seasons (Legend of Korra) and there were some things which I wanted to write about the two sets of seasons (the first being The Last Airbender).

Avatar is an anime styled American cartoon, about element benders and one Avatar (somebody who can control all elements). In TLA is focuses on the Avatar, Aang, and rising up against the fire nation. With him, there is Katara (a waterbender) and her brother, Sokka (a nonbender). They travel around the world so Aang can learn all the elements, and save everybody from the fire nations power. They’re later joined by Toph (a blind earthbender) and Zukko (the son of the fire nations prince, a firebender). So far from what I’ve gathered, LOK is about Korra, the avatar, Bolin and Mako (two brothers, an earth and firebender) and Asami (a nonbender). I’m not too sure on the storyline, but season one involves nonbenders trying to take over.

The point is; it’s an amazing show. And not just because it’s action packed and fucking hilarious, but it has some brilliant lessons. It shows us about being equal and accepting responsibilities. It has a diverse cast and in LOK there’s a same sex relationship. It shows the characters searching for their purpose, fighting for what’s right and exploring all they can. Not to mention each character has flaws, which they evolve on as the series goes on. You also see the change in relationships grow too, from enemies to friends and vice versus.

Basically, if you’re looking for a funny, action, meaningful watch, I tell you to watch it.

Tired

This will only be a short blog, but I wanted to get this out somewhere.

I’m at one of my midlife crisise (I don’t know the plural for that word, forgive my English sin), however I’ve been thinking and feeling this for a while.

It’s where you kind of look around, and wonder what the point in it all is. Going to school so I can get a job so I can have money and buy stuff and live somewhere. I may meet some cool people along the way and see a couple pretty things, but that’s all life seems to be for me. People always think I’m destined for something, as an A*-A student, but there are so many people like me. Thousands, millions of people who are doing what I am doing, and are going to do what I am going to do. So what’s the point in me, just being one more.

People always say you’re free to live your life. That’s great. Unless you live in relative (not literal, please don’t get them confused) poverty like myself. Unless you’re a mixed-race, bisexual, non-Christian woman, like myself. Unless you’re truly just one fucking fish, to whom is invisible and easy to forget. It’s the little things, like people forgetting to put my name down and somebody else taking what I asked for first, or when I’m the only person somebody doesn’t ring up and ask why I’m not at the party. It’s the things like only being talked to when you’re dating someone or your friend just split up with their boyfriend and they know you’ll go visit them with food and you’ll watch movies.

It’s just the point, when I’m looking in the mirror and thinking; what’s the point? What’s the point? I’m just one fish in a big sea of fish. I pity those who need drugs to be happy; but I do have a drug. My drugs are my fictional worlds, and without them, and I am nothing. I have nothing. If I passed, I reckon about 3 people would cry. My twin sister, my mother, and my grandmother. But, despite all of this, I won’t kill myself. Because I refuse to make those 3 people, who actually notice me, cry; even a little bit.

My point is, what is the point? What is the point in all of this, any of this. There is none. There is no point. But I will continue to be happy for people every day, because I know sadness is contagious. And also, if I told anybody, who would even give a damn? And what could they even say?

Ouran High School Host Club

Ouran was one of the first anime I’ve watched. I was only going to review more recent anime I’ve seen, but a post asking me about my first anime made me remember it. As well as my love of it. (Come on season 2, please!)

Ouran is about a scholarship student (Haruhi) and the Host Club; a group of boys who tends to the needs of young women. That may make them sound like prostitutes, but they’re gentleman who simply chat with and compliment the young ladies. Haruhi breaks a vase and then owes them a lot of money, so in order to repay it, she works for them. After giving her a makeover, they make her a member of the club. Even when they discover she’s a girl, they allow her to stay (as Tamaki, The Kings, thinks she’s cute). The series is then about their wacky adventures and overloading cuteness.

When I first watched it, I was new to anime. I thought it was weird, and had to watch the first few episodes a couple of time to get my head around it. Of course now, I realise it’s very tame in comparison to other animes. Ouran remains one of my favourites, as it’s hilarious and you just ship the fuck out of Tamaki and Haruhi.Because the anime doesn’t catch up to the manga, I read it because I couldn’t live knowing that they would end up together (and I wouldn’t see it).

Even if you’re one for darker animes, I suggest you give it a try. Even a boy I know (very ‘manly’) admitted he loved it. Sure there’s teased twincest and boys who seem pretty gay, but that makes it funny and different. Not to mention they’re very beautiful looking characters.

The show isn’t even a guilty pleasure, just a pleasure. I’m not ashamed of liking something as unique as Ouran! And if you’ve read my previous blogs/ reviews, you know I have a hard sense of humour. But, I can say, I laughed a lot at this! I also don’t obsess over many things; but this was definitely an exception. (note. it’s a reverse-harem).

Why I hate books like the Raven Boys

I’ll start this off by saying I fucking love this book. I’ll get on to why I hate it later. But honestly, I’ve been looking for a good read, and then tumblr showed me this piece of art. So naturally, I went to Plymouth and went into every bookshop (just WHSmith and Waterstones, really) to find it. And I did. Being the poor person I am, I could only afford the first book. And I finished it in less than half a day.

The Raven Boys is about a daughter of a psychic¬† (Blue) and the Raven Boys, Gansey, Ronan, Adam and Noah. The Raven Boys are boys who attend an all boys school for rich kids. At the beginning, Blue finds out that Gansey is going to die within twelve months; and he’ll either be her true love, or she’ll kiss him. Or both (which it is going to be both). Gansey is seeking a lost ex-prince of Wales, who granted him life when he died 7 years ago.

It is a romance, and normally I really don’t go for that kind of stuff. But honestly, the romance isn’t shoved in your face like Twilight. It’s subtle, and it is presented in such a way that you get on board the ship. It’s a book that I really couldn’t put down, and even though I do love reading, that doesn’t happen often (I’m easily distracted). There’s a wonderful amount of detail, but it’s not a book you have to put in effort to read. You notice the traits of the characters, and they’re not stereotypical, either. And I know I’m going to my towns library ASAP to find out if they have the others (the final one is coming out on the 26th, so yay! I don’t have to wait). Maggie (the author) allows you to really travel to where they are, and immerse yourself in their stories.

The reason I hate books like this is it makes me hate life. It makes me realise how boring the real world fucking is, and reminds me of my yearning to go somewhere different. I know, when I’m older, the ‘whole world will be in my hands’. But that won’t be for a while. And in this economy, I wish myself luck on affording travelling. But in the end, I’ll just meet some cool people, see some cool places, get a job, pay some taxes, retire and then die. Well, that’s if I don’t die at a young age. And there’s already millions in the world doing exactly all of that; so really, what’s the point? So yeah, to sum this up; I love the ravens boys. But books like it make me realise how boring and pointless my life is. It makes me realise how I truly wish I could be somewhere else.

Noragami

I’m going to sum this up; it is one of the best anime’s I’ve ever watched.

Noragami is about an unknown God, Yato, his ‘weapon’, Yukine, and a girl whose soul keeps slipping out of her body, Hiyori. It follows the stories of the wishes Yato has to fulfill, as well as seeing a change in character relationships and Yato’s past.

It’s funny. That’s one of the main reasons I love this show. It’s serious and comical at the same time. The characters are over-dramatic in a non-irritating way, and well; it’s difficult to describe why I find it hilarious. Just know that I rarely laugh and tend to hate comedies; but this is definitely an exception.

The characters are amazing. The best stories show how characters grow, and in Noragami, you really can. Hiyori is a girl in anime I can actually stand. Despite being powerless, she’s fierce and kind. In the beginning she fucking gets hit by a bus in order to save a stranger. Not only that, but she’s selfless and cares very much for Yato and Yukine. As Yato is a forgettable God, she does things like says she wants to be with him forever, and even builds him his first shrine. Yukine is a character you can really understand. He starts off angry and depressed over the fact he’s dead. You really get to pity him. Of course, you see him evolve, and you get to witness him trying hard to be normal as well as beginning to be kind to Yato (and even risking his life to save him). Then, Yato, who is torn about the terrible things he did in his past, as well as living in misery over the fact nobody can remember him and he’s a minor God. There are other characters too, and in Noragami you really get a glimpse of their lives, and can truly immerse yourself in them. You can feel what they feel.

Noragami is action packed, comical and heart warming. If you’re looking for a fun, interesting and happy anime, definitely watch it. I’m definitely glad I did!

Black Butler

Black Butler was the first anime I bought. I’ve obviously watched some before it, but this was the first I decided to spend my money on. I take my friends suggestions very seriously. (It wasn’t expensive really, but for me it was).

Black Butler is about a boy (Ciel) whose parents are killed. Out of desperation he made a deal with a demon; the demon will help find those responsible, and when that is carried out, the demon will devour his soul. The demon takes the place of his butler and is called Sebastian. They then take on mysteries the queen sets them out on, as well as trying to figure out who’s behind everything.

Overall; it’s good. It’s gorey and funny at a lot of times. Sure, the English accent is very typical, but the show has an interesting storyline and unique characters. Ciel is one of the only characters I’ve seen to maintain anger and revenge throughout the story, without learning to deal with it. Sure, the anime goes a little different to the manga partway through, but it’s still enjoyable. Any anime that can get your blood boiling when you see a certain character is probably pretty good. Not to mention the art in the show is fantastic, and very pleasing to look at (I find). Sure, one of the characters pisses me the fuck off, and Ciel is a pretty black and white character, but they’re minor in comparison to the enjoyment I got out of it. So if you like a bit of gore, an attempt of the English (not British) accent, crime solving, attractive demons and humour, then do give it a try!

(Did I mention the show also makes you imagine a life with unimaginable wealth? I spent days imaging it!)

Regrets

This will only be a short blog.

Like a normal human being, I have regrets. One of the being made on Saturday night. There was a party (yes, with alcohol) that I was invited to. I could’ve gone and had a wicked time, or at least have left the house once last week. But I didn’t go. Know why? Because I didn’t really know anybody there, which is true. But still, most would be drunk anyway so that probably wouldn’t be too hard. Not to mention a guy I thought was really cute was there. Sure, I’m annoyed that my ‘best friend’ didn’t even notice I wasn’t there until I messaged her saying I’ll give her her present on Monday. But I wish I’d gone.

It’s weird how you can end up regretting something so fast. Or you can still have the regret from something that happened almost 2 years ago. And honestly, I have no idea how to make it go away. But a part of me doesn’t want it to. In some situations, I deserve the guilt because the things I did were shitty. I constantly replay the day in my head, and get angry with myself. ‘If I could go back into the past…’ but that can’t happen. Sure, those things made me a better person (I hope!) however they still hurt.

You know what scares me? The fact I still have a lot of mistakes and regrets to make in my life. It freaks me out. I’d like to think I’m smart enough not to; but I know I’m really not.

Pet Peeves, anyone?

I’m writing this because I was thinking about one of mine.

  1. Having barely anybody to cosplay as for comic-con. As a POC, and a perfectionist (I like my cosplay to look exact) I find myself sadly limited when it comes to cosplay. That goes for video-game, book, comic book, TV, anime and film characters. Of course there are a few, like Zoe Castillo from Dreamfall, or Katara from Avatar: The Last Airbender. But honestly, it’s a drag. I’m honestly stuck on who to go as (although I’m currently leaning on Zoe).
  2. When I’m sat with nothing to do and I can’t think of something to watch. As a shut-in, I always need something to marathon. So when I’m stuck in times without, I start having withdrawal symptoms. I become miserable. And sometimes it can take me a while to find something new. In fact, it can take me a while to even find a genre that I want.
  3. People who drive with the car window open. As somebody who despises wind, sitting in an enclosed space with it is irritating.
  4. People who ask you to like their profile picture. There’s no point in it. Having more like on your pictures shows and means nothing. It’s a picture. And even if they say ‘fishing for like lol’ it doesn’t make it any less stupid.
  5. When people get annoyed if you say ‘I only got an A/B’. I don’t say that because it’s a bad grade. I know it’s not. I say it because I can do better. Truth be told I’m lazy and don’t revise and I don’t really deserve anything. But still, don’t take it the wrong way.
  6. People who ask what I’m reading and then say they hate reading. I’m reading. I clearly don’t hate it. And if I’m reading don’t even talk to me. And honestly, I don’t care if you don’t.
  7. People who only talk to you when they’re sad. I have a friend to whom I haven’t spoken to properly since I helped her with a break up. I have tried, but I’m invisible to her. Despite the fact I’m the only one who helped her.
  8. People who like to think they have the worst life in the world. Think your life is shit is normal for people my age. But when I console in someone about how I needed counseling or they asked me things about my past and they then feel the need to out-pity me it’s annoying. Even if their life is worse than mine. Or people who basically tell me I can’t be sad because there are people with worse lives out there. What, can I not be happy either because people out there are happier?
  9. The biggest pet peeve; when people judge me on my past. Sure, I was a shitty person. A liar, an attention seeker; but I’m not that anymore. I learned from my mistakes, converted religion (well, it’s not technically a religion), and I’ve never and will never do it again. And then people still hate me, well, they hate the person I used to be and can’t let it go. And then they like to remind me of it; even though I remember it every day anyway.