This will only be a short blog.
Like a normal human being, I have regrets. One of the being made on Saturday night. There was a party (yes, with alcohol) that I was invited to. I could’ve gone and had a wicked time, or at least have left the house once last week. But I didn’t go. Know why? Because I didn’t really know anybody there, which is true. But still, most would be drunk anyway so that probably wouldn’t be too hard. Not to mention a guy I thought was really cute was there. Sure, I’m annoyed that my ‘best friend’ didn’t even notice I wasn’t there until I messaged her saying I’ll give her her present on Monday. But I wish I’d gone.
It’s weird how you can end up regretting something so fast. Or you can still have the regret from something that happened almost 2 years ago. And honestly, I have no idea how to make it go away. But a part of me doesn’t want it to. In some situations, I deserve the guilt because the things I did were shitty. I constantly replay the day in my head, and get angry with myself. ‘If I could go back into the past…’ but that can’t happen. Sure, those things made me a better person (I hope!) however they still hurt.
You know what scares me? The fact I still have a lot of mistakes and regrets to make in my life. It freaks me out. I’d like to think I’m smart enough not to; but I know I’m really not.